Quadrilogy of sanity – Poem 1 : « All the love that will remain unsaid » – K.B

All the love that will remain unsaid

 

 

It’s my fault ,
I disappeared
For a mysterious
Purpose.
Friends,forgive me.

I lived in your hearts
And still do for a little
While.

Badly counselled,
Pushed into the ropes,
I had to accept hate
In my heart.

Friends, forgive me,
Life didn’t treat me
Right,
Even my lovers
Confrunted me,
Everytime
A chill,
A deep fear
Of losing someone.

I must’ve seemed
Strange,
Even to you,
Gate keeper,
Grace has ceased
Because I don’t
Understand a thing
Anymore,
The God I counted
On hurt me
For no reason I know
Of.

He’s decided to kill
Me for my unwanted
Treason,

Apostasy,
That’s how
They call it.

He didn’t tell
Me clearly why
But I can guess :

I was charmed
For a life with
No suffering.

And God knows
How much we
Suffer down here:

Misery, unemployment,
Limited means, sadness,
Rebellious insanity,
Burn out,
With no candle
At the end of the tunnel.

Psychiatry,
Schizophreny,
Weed,
Hallucinations,
Mysticism,
Anything to break
You down
Or help.

Worried mother,
Handicap,
Social welfare,

A big fat loser
On the verge of
Death,
But it’s too late,
Huh?

Hell,
Open up,
Swallow me raw,
I been like pharao,
Swearint allegiance
In front of the disaster.

Ha, I will have had
Amazing joys nevertheless,
Undoubtedly,
O.D , here I come.

Lover,
Pangs of disprized love,
You could’ve been my light
In the dark.
Somehow,
I’m too weird and scary,
Even for you.

In the name of freedom,
The old fool,
I went over the limits.

I followed the mad
And the crazy.

I followed Satan.

I will make sure
I never live again.

Mea culpa.

 
K.B

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