Father – K.B

I know what they say here, put him in a retiree home, but he will be sad, very sad, and I don’t wish that. I need more hands and a bigger space to check up on him. How cruel it is to see the ones you love aging ( in a bad way). Especially when they have those imploring eyes and the weak shivering voice ( mon coeur chavire).

 

 
Father

 
Father,

I’m tired
To look after you

Watch your each step

And hear your confused
Thoughts.

I was never prepared
To this

To see you become
A baby

To yell at you
Because you
Sleep all the time

Because you’re
Slow like hell.

I’m tired of looking
After you,

Are you a grown up
Or a child ?

Coz in my head
It’s getting crazy

To have you nearby

And fall short
Of breaking
My nerves
On some stupidities
You make daily.

Are you a grown up
Or a child ?

Can you still make
Decisions?

Look after your wife ?

How long will this torture
Last ?

I’m not prepared to this,

Get someone to nurse you.

I seem to be the only one
To express concern,

As the others always
Absent.

You make my life
A hell,

At each step you
Make I’m afraid
You might fall
On your head.

Where are the others ?

How to express respect
When I’m the one
Dictating
Your daily life
Because you
Can’t any more ?

This is not freudian,

This is base line
Reality

To see you age
And smelling
The process
Of your childhood
Come back.

Help !

God,

Help !

I’m losing
My patience,

Not a day of
Rest

Plus, you
Wake up
Everyday
At seven,

Even on sundays !

What a treacherous
Mistress life is

At the same time
Conspiring to bring
You down
And lifting you up
Sometimes,

Not always !

 

 

K.B

 

 
All rights reserved. 2019.

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